In an article for Inc., BigSpeak’s EVP and people whisperer Ken Sterling shares his methods for handling and de-escalating moments of extreme pressure for the most opportune outcome.

In unexpected, stressful situations, adrenaline skyrockets, creating in most people the impulse to lash out and bite back if attacked. It is very difficult to retrain oneself to respond calmly and appropriately, but anyone in a leadership position will need this vital skill in their toolbox.

Sterling has 4 options for those looking to maintain a clear head in moments of conflict:

1. Pause. This is perhaps the most difficult step, and also the most important. Do not immediately respond when confronted.
2. Listen. Demonstrate to the other party that they are being heard.
3. Ask questions. Dial down on what is upsetting the other person. Often, misunderstanding is the root of conflict. Dig into possible communication errors.
4. Take time to consider. Lengthen the time between reaction to response by asking the other person for time to think it over before replying.

For the complete breakdown, see Sterling’s full article.